tik tok on the clock



but the party doesn't stop




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Hi.
I'm the girl...
who's born on Christmas Eve,
who's too shy to say hello to a stranger,
who was in Crescent NPCC,
who's now in ACJC,
who's ambition is to work in the music industry,
who's ambition is also to open a cafe somewhere,
who's ambition is also to become a teacher,
who is apparently very indecisive,
who writes songs and hopes that they'll be played on the radio someday,
who plays the guitar but isn't very good at it,
who sings in the shower,
who admires Meryl Streep and Amy Adams and Johnny Depp,
who thinks Selena Gomez should stick to acting,
who daydreams half the time,
who records these daydreams and spins them into stories,
who is a hopeless romantic,
who wishes that fairytales would come true,
who loves english literature,
who cannot stand mathematics and doesn't see the point of logarithms and quadratic equations,
who has zoophobia,
who doesn't want to bungee jump,
who doesn't like tomatoes but likes ketchup,
who likes blueberry pancakes,
who likes to eat raspberries,
who doesn't mind not being number one,
who can fake a smile easily,
who knows faking smiles isn't good,
who likes making people laugh,
who knows how it feels to be left out,
who is sometimes completely random,
who believes that loneliness is underrated,
and whose name is Althea.

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Got No Clue What I Should Do,
Monday, May 30, 2011 @ 10:59 PM


I don't know how to put this.

Here goes.

...

Today, I walked by Faber Castell at Ion. And I saw this huge pencil/colour pencil/art stuff set. It was gigantic. Probably the size of a suitcase.

I looked at it, and suddenly, I saw you. I saw... an "Us".

I could actually see myself buying something like that for you.

Which is strange, considering:
  1. I'm not sure if you would like the suitcase art set anyway because I don't know if you like drawing that much
  2. I don't think I have enough money to buy that suitcase art set
  3. I don't think there will ever be an "Us".

I don't want to be in a relationship with you, honestly. What would we say? What would we do? Stare at each other and be awkward? Not that I want to be in a relationship right now. I'm not one of those desperate needy types who seek a boyfriend just so she can boast about it. I'm really not.

And even though I've admitted that I don't need to be in a relationship - I don't need you - I can't stop thinking about the possibility of there ever being an "Us".

It's insanely frustrating. Why am I so affected by you?

I don't know why, but I keep looking at photographs even though I know I shouldn't. Just... seeing your smile. It kind of makes me feel happy. Like you're smiling for me.

Ha. Who am I kidding? Guys like you... only like girls like her.

I will never be good enough for you, will I?

I'll go crazy if I can't get next to you.