imperfection,
Sunday, July 10, 2011 @ 12:45 AM
I honestly don't like bitching about someone.
In Crescent, I was hardly ever involved in serious bitching (I think bitching was limited to CIs/Ma'ams and how they were bloody unfair/irritating sometimes), but now that I'm in JC, I find that bitching is actually very difficult to avoid. My classmates bitch, my CCA mates bitch, and practically the whole school bitches about something/someone at every point of time.
And bitching is a fairly judgmental thing to do. Usually, when I coughbitchedcough, it was about personality or someone's actions or something. Here, people bitch about looks mostly. There's a lot of "did you see her face today", "I cannot stand the way he looks", "why does she act this way even though she's not remotely cute"... Honestly, I don't like it at all.
I mean, why do people judge one another based on external appearance? I get that it's the first glimpse of a person we get and hence it forms the first impression, but why do people always let their first impressions decide everything? I realise I may be a hypocrite for saying this, but nowadays I try my darnest to not judge people on appearance anymore.
So what if a person doesn't look half as good as you do? Not everyone in the world is blessed with such pleasant looks. I mean, if everyone looked amazing, no one would. Not even you. Why do you look down on other people just because they have crooked teeth/slanted eyebrows/too much hair on their arm/fleshier thighs/big feet? Why do you judge people based on the way they look? Why judge people at all?
I know the last question is probably difficult to answer; judging people happens all the time and has become such a natural thing to do that it is almost inevitable in daily life. But why judge based on looks? Why look at people and label them "pretty", "handsome", "hot", or "ugly", "nerd" and "gross"?
Personally, I think that to measure a person's beauty, we have to look much deeper than the surface. Sure, you may be "hot" on the outside, but is that of any use if you're lazy, don't have anything in your brain, or just plain ignorant? Is your definition of "beauty" of any use if the person you're labeling as "beautiful" makes fun of others, despises the "non-beautiful" ones or judges people quickly? I don't think that'll make you much of a person.
On the other hand, people who are much more... intelligent than others, have probably a heart a million times bigger than the "beautiful" ones, and are far more hardworking, aren't even looked at twice. Why? Because they are "not beautiful" enough for society's standards.
Anyway, who are we to deem what is "beautiful" and what is "not beautiful"? Who drew that line between "beauty" and "not beauty"? Do we even have the right to tell someone that he/she is not beautiful? Who are you to say that someone is not beautiful?
In fact, the dictionary explanation of "fat" is - having large amounts of excess flesh. It never mentions anything about "ugly" or "repulsive" or "imperfect". So who said that "fat" was a derogatory word?
I suppose society made the distinction. "Beauty" has lost it's meaning - in fact it has been replaced by society's cruel, biased version of it. If you take it at it's literal sense, I guess "beauty" would mean that a person would have to be aesthetically pleasing/have some kind of physical charm, but this "beauty" has overshadowed "true beauty".
In my opinion, a truly beautiful person is one who has the greatest personality, who doesn't let himself/herself be affected by other people's harsh words, who isn't afraid to stand up for what he/she believes in, and who never gives up. That, is what it means to be truly beautiful.
I don't think anyone in this world is truly ugly (in terms of appearance, at least). According to the dictionary, ugly means "unpleasant or repulsive, esp. in terms of appearance". Nobody in this world can be repulsive, appearance-wise. It's quite hard to achieve that, and the people who are probably thrown into this category usually have a inner beauty that far outshines others' external beauty.
If you must call someone ugly, call the people who bully others/abuse others/make fun of others/look down on others/stomp on other people's heads to get to where they are/judge people unfairly/break hearts on a whim ugly.
Because perfection has become something that everyone pursues, no one is perfect anymore. It's difficult, I know, but if everyone just accepted everyone for who they are, don't you agree that everyone would be much happier? Stress would occur a lot less.
So to all you people who judge and joke at other people's expense, please look at yourself in the mirror first. Who are you to tell others that they're not beautiful and you are? Is your definition of "beautiful" the right one? What if you follow the other party's definition of beautiful? Will you be "beautiful" then?
Just remember this: no amount of make-up will ever make you pretty if you have an ugly heart.