it'salovestory

2011-09-28T00:13:00.002+08:00

HAHA it's raining.

Like out of nowhere. In the middle of the night. At 12.13am. Wow.

But I like the rain. I think I have a certain affinity with water. For instance, the best songs I write are usually formed when I'm in the bathroom. Inspiration just comes when I'm in contact with water.

After the rain, there will come a rainbow. Perhaps this is God's way of comforting me, His way of telling me that tomorrow, no matter how daunting it sounds, will be a better day. Or at least, tomorrow will be a good day.

超级偶像

2011-09-01T23:46:00.002+08:00

I was watching 超偶 just now on channel 111 and had the sudden urge to go on Youtube to watch 王崴宇's performance for next week.

So, I went online, watched his next performance (which was incredible by the way, there were honestly no faults I could find and the emotions were there) and was just stunned. Well, it made me want to watch his performance for the week after that, and like always, it was amazing. Although I admit he has done better in his previous 3 performances (which were completely faultless to me; this time some of his words were a bit forced because of the high pitch and rock feel), but it was still amazing nonetheless.

And then I go to the results video and guess what I see? HIS TEAM GETS ELIMINATED.

I swear I was hyperventilating in my chair when I saw it. And then when the judge said they were going to save one person from his team, I was just hoping it would be him.

AND THANK THE HEAVENS IT WAS HIM THEY CHOSE TO SAVE.

Honestly, I would have never really followed this show if not for him. Like I only started becoming interested in this show because I heard him sing 林俊杰's 背对背拥抱 during the 海选 rounds. That performance was bloody brilliant. And he's really the only reason why I actually bother sitting in front of my television every Thursday night. In fact, although I recognise that there are actually one or two better singers in the competition too, he's the competitor whose performance I look forward to the most every time. I recall being sad when I didn't see him on tv last week - last week's episode was apparently split into two parts, and the part where he performed was shown today.

Anyway, thank goodness the judges decided to save him. The bad thing is, now I won't get to see him for one episode because he will be directly sent to the top 15. A bit strange, but that's how it is on the show apparently....?

Sigh. Luckily the show has judges who can recognise potential when they see it. Otherwise, they would probably have lost a viewer~

王崴宇加油　^^

imperfection

2011-07-10T00:45:00.003+08:00

I honestly don't like bitching about someone.

In Crescent, I was hardly ever involved in serious bitching (I think bitching was limited to CIs/Ma'ams and how they were bloody unfair/irritating sometimes), but now that I'm in JC, I find that bitching is actually very difficult to avoid. My classmates bitch, my CCA mates bitch, and practically the whole school bitches about something/someone at every point of time.

And bitching is a fairly judgmental thing to do. Usually, when I coughbitchedcough, it was about personality or someone's actions or something. Here, people bitch about looks mostly. There's a lot of "did you see her face today", "I cannot stand the way he looks", "why does she act this way even though she's not remotely cute"... Honestly, I don't like it at all.

I mean, why do people judge one another based on external appearance? I get that it's the first glimpse of a person we get and hence it forms the first impression, but why do people always let their first impressions decide everything? I realise I may be a hypocrite for saying this, but nowadays I try my darnest to not judge people on appearance anymore.

So what if a person doesn't look half as good as you do? Not everyone in the world is blessed with such pleasant looks. I mean, if everyone looked amazing, no one would. Not even you. Why do you look down on other people just because they have crooked teeth/slanted eyebrows/too much hair on their arm/fleshier thighs/big feet? Why do you judge people based on the way they look? Why judge people at all?

I know the last question is probably difficult to answer; judging people happens all the time and has become such a natural thing to do that it is almost inevitable in daily life. But why judge based on looks? Why look at people and label them "pretty", "handsome", "hot", or "ugly", "nerd" and "gross"?

Personally, I think that to measure a person's beauty, we have to look much deeper than the surface. Sure, you may be "hot" on the outside, but is that of any use if you're lazy, don't have anything in your brain, or just plain ignorant? Is your definition of "beauty" of any use if the person you're labeling as "beautiful" makes fun of others, despises the "non-beautiful" ones or judges people quickly? I don't think that'll make you much of a person.

On the other hand, people who are much more... intelligent than others, have probably a heart a million times bigger than the "beautiful" ones, and are far more hardworking, aren't even looked at twice. Why? Because they are "not beautiful" enough for society's standards.

Anyway, who are we to deem what is "beautiful" and what is "not beautiful"? Who drew that line between "beauty" and "not beauty"? Do we even have the right to tell someone that he/she is not beautiful? Who are you to say that someone is not beautiful?

In fact, the dictionary explanation of "fat" is - having large amounts of excess flesh. It never mentions anything about "ugly" or "repulsive" or "imperfect". So who said that "fat" was a derogatory word?

I suppose society made the distinction. "Beauty" has lost it's meaning - in fact it has been replaced by society's cruel, biased version of it. If you take it at it's literal sense, I guess "beauty" would mean that a person would have to be aesthetically pleasing/have some kind of physical charm, but this "beauty" has overshadowed "true beauty".

In my opinion, a truly beautiful person is one who has the greatest personality, who doesn't let himself/herself be affected by other people's harsh words, who isn't afraid to stand up for what he/she believes in, and who never gives up. That, is what it means to be truly beautiful.

I don't think anyone in this world is truly ugly (in terms of appearance, at least). According to the dictionary, ugly means "unpleasant or repulsive, esp. in terms of appearance". Nobody in this world can be repulsive, appearance-wise. It's quite hard to achieve that, and the people who are probably thrown into this category usually have a inner beauty that far outshines others' external beauty.

If you must call someone ugly, call the people who bully others/abuse others/make fun of others/look down on others/stomp on other people's heads to get to where they are/judge people unfairly/break hearts on a whim ugly.

Because perfection has become something that everyone pursues, no one is perfect anymore. It's difficult, I know, but if everyone just accepted everyone for who they are, don't you agree that everyone would be much happier? Stress would occur a lot less.

So to all you people who judge and joke at other people's expense, please look at yourself in the mirror first. Who are you to tell others that they're not beautiful and you are? Is your definition of "beautiful" the right one? What if you follow the other party's definition of beautiful? Will you be "beautiful" then?

Just remember this: no amount of make-up will ever make you pretty if you have an ugly heart.

拥抱那么多起起落落

2011-07-01T23:12:00.002+08:00

我不是一定要你回来

只是当又一个人看海

回头才发现你不在

只留我迂回的徘徊

So yeah. I should be doing drama annotations now but I honestly cannot bring myself to remove the paper from my file, so I'm going to do last minute chionging later at 11.30pm or something.

Terms are almost over! Other than ELL, which I left out the whole of transitivity, I think everything was quite manageable. Except maybe Chinese compo. Stupid me picked the wrong pen to use and ended up having a major hand-ache, which probably affected my Chinese compo. And I think I wrote out of point. Oh well. Lit was alright, but sadly, I don't think my essays are worthy of a B grade. Maybe a C? :/ Math was okay, may have screwed up 2 questions but other than that it was fairly alright.

GP... HAHAHA OHYEAH I FORGOT THE MEANING OF 'COPIOUS' I WENT TO PUT 'DUBIOUS' HAHAHA IDK WHAT WAS WRONG WITH ME LIKE WTHECK HOW CAN I FORGET SOMETHING LIKE THAT????

I honestly have to learn how to keep my mouth shut. Now that I've told someone, I CANNOT, for the life of me, keep my thoughts to myself anymore. In the past, when I didn't tell anyone, I could just... suffer in cruel silence, but now... I have this overwhelming urge to tell her everything HAHA. Geez, you'd think I'd have learnt by now.

In other news, so many squadmates have become CIs! Naomi, Jaymann, Jasmine, Ammani... And I think Lim Min is going soon too. That's practically 1/4 of the squad. For a squad that kind of didn't really like CIs that much (at first, like before we took over), I think our cadet-to-CI rate is quite high, isn't it? Makes me wish that sometimes I had gone to join the CI course.

OHWAIT. I kid. I don't really want to spend 4 weeks or something in Ubin burning to death. My medical condition probably wouldn't let me be a CI anyway. The cadets would probably be tougher than me.

In other other news, LIN JUNJIE IS DAMN TALENTED I HAVE NOTHING BUT PRAISE FOR THE GUY (other than his YOG song, which I'm sure wasn't his fault because it was probably edited/modified/controlled/dictated like Rebecca Black's Friday). Every single performance he gives is completely mind-blowing. His live singing is as good as his CD recordings, and not many artistes can achieve that. And he writes beautiful lyrics and musical compositions, and plays the piano so damn well ^^ I'm trying to locate his '100 Days' album and his '她说' album, but the Popular at Compass Point doesn't have it. May go other places to look for it :) Super in love with all of his songs.

Chinese A-level oral on Tuesday! Hope I don't fail/just pass/get a merit. I need a distinction :/ If I don't get an 'A' for the actual A levels, I will retake. And if I want to retake and get an 'A', I'd better get a distinction for oral ._.

OH AND I MADE PROPS MANAGER! Not exactly crew manager, but all the same, I'm glad I applied. Now all that's left is maniAC to worry about...

Okay. It's 11.30. Going to go annotate my drama thing like a good DEP kid.

Cheerio :)

我不是一定要你回来

只是当又把回忆翻开

除了你之外的空白

还有谁能来教我爱

别告诉他，我还想他

2011-06-23T22:23:00.004+08:00

原来最疼痛的表情竟是没有情绪
原来最残忍的画面可以甜言蜜语
我不懂得如何更爱你
影子讽刺地
跟着我难分难离

原来最孤单的是我还是那么想你
原来最悲哀的是我不能面对自己
你收的干净
我也会不留一点痕迹

- 原来，林俊杰

2011-06-20T16:04:00.002+08:00

MY NEW AMBITION IN LIFE IS TO WORK AT DISNEYLAND, ANAHEIM, CALIFORNIA ^^ CAN YOU BELIEVE HOW AMAZING THAT WOULD BE??????

Damn, so jealous of Hali Gaskins now; can you imagine how it would feel like to work at Disneyland with your boyfriend (of 6 years, no less)!!!!

Alright, I've found my life's true calling. Disneyland, here I come.

both a little scared, neither one prepared

2011-06-16T00:38:00.004+08:00

I'm pretty sure I like you.

But then I'm pretty sure that I'm not that sure that I'm pretty sure I like you.

Confused yet?

but if you walk the footsteps of a stranger

2011-06-16T00:24:00.002+08:00

So I got a relatively good score for Theasthai. Quite pleased with myself; never thought I would get this much. 12/15 for actual performance and 14/15 for process work, which brings my total to 26/30. I think Theasthai definitely increased my self-confidence a little. At least I know now what performing solo on stage feels like.

Rachel Quah, Siok Ling, Charmaine Chong, Vivian, Naomi, Myra, Annabella and Eindra came for Theasthai. OH AND KELLIE TOO HAHA I WAS SO SHOCKED TO SEE HER BUT SHE SAID SHE WANTED TO SURPRISE ME :) such a great friend; I'm really glad I met her in primary school.

And well... Lately I've been feeling as though JC probably wasn't the best choice for me. I don't know, I just have this feeling that one day I'm just going to collapse under everything and suffocate and by then it'll be too late to pull myself up the hole that I just dug. But like I said, it's just a feeling. Nothing concrete.

That's that for now. Hope I meet my target for terms :)

Got No Clue What I Should Do

2011-05-30T22:59:00.005+08:00

I don't know how to put this.

Here goes.

...

Today, I walked by Faber Castell at Ion. And I saw this huge pencil/colour pencil/art stuff set. It was gigantic. Probably the size of a suitcase.

I looked at it, and suddenly, I saw you. I saw... an "Us".

I could actually see myself buying something like that for you.

Which is strange, considering:

I'm not sure if you would like the suitcase art set anyway because I don't know if you like drawing that much
I don't think I have enough money to buy that suitcase art set
I don't think there will ever be an "Us".

I don't want to be in a relationship with you, honestly. What would we say? What would we do? Stare at each other and be awkward? Not that I want to be in a relationship right now. I'm not one of those desperate needy types who seek a boyfriend just so she can boast about it. I'm really not.

And even though I've admitted that I don't need to be in a relationship - I don't need you - I can't stop thinking about the possibility of there ever being an "Us".

It's insanely frustrating. Why am I so affected by you?

I don't know why, but I keep looking at photographs even though I know I shouldn't. Just... seeing your smile. It kind of makes me feel happy. Like you're smiling for me.

Ha. Who am I kidding? Guys like you... only like girls like her.

I will never be good enough for you, will I?

I'll go crazy if I can't get next to you.

I Just Haven't Met You Yet

2011-05-01T01:16:00.003+08:00

Like ya like shooting stars
Write songs on guitar
Got more things to do than stare at a mirror

It's hard. To know know that you're... different. And everyone else seems to shun you because of it. It's hard to fit in.

Most of the people I have to make friends with are more... materialistic than I'll ever be. Maybe not materialistic in a bad way, but in the sense that... they care a lot more about their appearance than I do. The girls wear dresses, go out shopping for clothes, like lipstick and cosmetics and leather bags and heels and brown clothes and black shirts and sunshades and jeans and skirts and branded stuff and go on diets and are critical of everyone and necklaces and painted toenails and cardigans and eyebrow waxing and swimsuits and modelling and eyeshadow and have I mentioned that they like shopping?

It's not that they can't like these things. In fact, this is totally acceptable behaviour in society's eyes. This is what girls normally do. They go out, have fun, take lots and lots of pictures and smile with their teeth and wear dresses and shop a lot.

But I don't.

I hate posing for photos unnecessarily, I don't quite like smiling with my teeth, I definitely do not like shopping for clothes and I. Don't. Wear. Dresses.

I'm the kind of person who'd rather spend $30 on books, plays the guitar and writes songs, wears black shirts and beach shorts and flip-flops even if I'm going to Orchard, doesn't wish to go clubbing, thinks alcohol tastes disgusting, likes reading more than partying, and daydreams half the time. I like taking pictures of scenery, would rather spend $100 on a buffet than on clothes and accessories, hates wearing makeup, thinks dresses are uncomfortable and doesn't bitch about people much. I am a horrible conversation starter, and I'm extremely awkward around people I'm not familiar with, I take a long time to fit in and adapt, and I can be extremely quiet when I have nothing to say or I am not comfortable with the people I'm talking to. I am sarcastic and very irritable and I like to get things done so I can slack off later. I can be extremely direct and blunt, and I tend to insult people sarcastically to show that I like them, that I consider them friends because I think nice things should only be said when I'm particularly sure about my feelings and I'm quite certain I mean something and I love someone and I know someone well enough to be genuinely nice to them. I'm insecure and moody and sometimes I just want everyone to go away and leave me alone. I write stories, and poems that don't sound as nice as I want them to, and sing way too loud when I'm alone and am really shy and don't like hanging out with people who I don't mix well with rather than give them and myself another chance. I get jealous very easily and I am very sensitive. I am... me.

And it sucks, to know that everyone else is different. That the people I used to be comfortable with are drifting away from me because I can't keep up with them. That they too, are becoming people I Don't Know. And it's really sad to know that I will never be like them. Fitting in is, and will always be, a problem. Because the circle is too small and there is no space for people like me. An outsider - that's what I'll forever be.

So how on earth do you expect me not to distance myself from you when you're the very reason I do so? You say I'm a loner, that I'm antisocial, but I know I'm not. You're just not the right kind of person I hang out with. You're... different.

And different is bad, when it comes to making friends with you.

I wish I knew how to tell you all this, that I feel... excluded because I'm different. But I don't think I know how. I'm not brave enough to face it by myself. And there's no one who knows what goes through inside my head. No one knows I'm insecure, and that I'm upset about not being able to adapt quickly.

And you'll never know all this about me because you'll never bother to ask.

So I'll keep looking for someone who'll appreciate me for me and who will understand me in all my complexity and accept me even with all my flaws and help me stay on track and like me for who I am, not who I can be.

I'll keep searching for My Kind of Perfect.

when you turn the corner,

2011-04-16T00:08:00.002+08:00

Homework load sucks. I hate JC life. Dying right now. Had H1 Math test today and all I can say is, DIE ZOMG WHY SO DIFFICULT?!?!?!?! All the practices in class are like damn easy please why was the test so mind-boggling? I looked at the first question and went like "what the heck". Oh well.

Lit is proving to be challenging. Everyone in my class took Lit willingly, so I suppose their command of the subject should be relatively good. It's going to be difficult if I want to stand out in class. Hmmmm. For now I shall remain the quiet girl in the corner who takes down notes and then when the tests come... BAM! I shall suddenly come out of nowhere HAHAHA :D

Okay that was uncalled for. But whatever, I feel damn sleepy now but I want to type this.

English Language and Linguistics is rather... dry now. I keep falling asleep in lectures, idk why. I don't want to, it's involuntary :/ My eyes just auto-shut halfway through the lecture. But I like ELL. It's confusing but I like it.

Theatre Studies... Well, let's just say that if 50% of the class is expected to get an A for A Levels, I will be one of the 50%... who get a B. Or C. I don't think I'll be that bad to get a D... I hope. I feel like a dumbass in drama class lah seriously. It's like I don't know anything. I don't know skills and technical terms and everything (how was I supposed to know it was called a wash????? But okay, at least now I know and I won't make the same mistake twice), so I feel quite stupid in drama class. But it's k. I will get better. I think. I can't complain though. This is my choice, after all. Hasn't taking this subject been my goal ever since I knew it existed in Sec 3?

Being in ACSian Theatre is very different from being in Crescent NP, that's for sure. The hours are longer, the effort you are required to put in is much more... but yet I enjoy it. It's a little less strict than NP. Not to say that I don't miss NP, I really do, but I think I will kind of like being in theatre too. Crewing for Alice in Wonderland was especially enjoyable. I made loads of new friends and bonded with current friends as well. And all our crew secrets.... :) Making props wasn't always easy, but I survived! And I can definitely say that I've enjoyed the experience of being backstage. Who says you only get the satisfaction when you're in the spotlight?

Theasthai is coming up. I'm screwed. That's all I have to say. Mdm says those who finish their Theasthai pieces first can go up to the tech box to learn how to work sound/lights, and I managed to voice my interest in learning the light bit... I hope I do get to try it... In any case, I don't think I'm going to stand out much in Theasthai, but as long as I do my best and not worry so much... I think I'll be fine. It's my first public performance as an actor after all, so I don't expect that much from myself. Yup. Theasthai shall be my first stepping stone to greater things. I shan't stress that much. Of course, it would be nice to do relatively well for it... but hey. It's my first performance.

maniAC is okay, I suppose. I kind of like the idea of blogging as a CCA, haha. And besides, maniAC was my source of entertainment for awhile after Os, so I think other secondary school graduates who are interested in ACJC should read my posts too right :D Not like my posts are fantastic though.

Well, that's basically it. For now. Speech day tomorrow. Or today. In a few hours. Can't wait. Crescent's 55th fun fair is also going to happen after speech day. SO EXCITED ^^ I miss Crescent so bloody much right now. I must remember to go to the PAT and look for me and Quah's staple bullet. I wonder if it's still there...

ALRIGHT I HAVE TO GO SLEEP NOW! GOODNIGHT WORLD. SEE YOU AGAIN SOON.

2011-03-18T23:04:00.001+08:00

Don't make it sound like I'm completely, utterly, irreversibly selfish, okay? Because I'm not. I cancelled a meeting with Eind and Vicky and Eugene because I knew you were sick and I should be a good sister and look after Audrey because QY went out and there's no one else to look after her.

I'm more responsible and mature than you think I am.

This is why I never would have succeeded in debate. Even when my mum is hoarse, I can never win an argument with her.

2011-03-16T00:34:00.001+08:00

Honestly. Why can't it be less awkward when we talk?

2011-03-13T23:22:00.001+08:00

Oh sure, talk to all the pretty girls, won't you? I'm totally fine with it, because I know how shallow you are.

If Cupid had a Heart

2011-02-10T18:42:00.001+08:00

I think I might like you.

.... No, I think I know I like you.

Does that make sense?

The best part is I am quite certain you don't like me back. Figures. I always end up liking people who have an interest in other girls. I suppose I should get used to it.

Seriously. If you like someone, you should tell them how you feel.

But somehow, I can't. It'll be awkward, seeing as how we're rather good friends now.

At least I think we're considered good friends. We are, right?

Looks like this Valentine's will just be another reason to bang my head against the wall because I can't find it in myself to tell you how I feel about you.

do you ever think, when you're all alone, all that we could be - where this thing could go?

2011-01-25T02:46:00.002+08:00

Why do you tick all the boxes? Why couldn't you be some loser and be bad at something on the list huh?

Why do you have to be so perfect? :(

2011-01-11T03:03:00.001+08:00

I've figured out another thing to do.

Sing.

2011-01-11T02:23:00.003+08:00

The more I look at that B on my cert, the more frustrated I get.

And so I ask myself, "What the fuck happened?". I think for a bit. I really do rack my brains over it. And then I realise...

I don't have an answer. I don't know.

How is it that I. Don't. Fucking. Know.

So I think again. I think and think and think and think until I feel like my brain's about to explode. And then I think some more and I keep thinking and thinking, and I try to figure out what in the world I did wrong.

But I still can't figure out what happened.

And it sucks. It really sucks. That I did such a horrible job at the subject that I actually pride myself in doing well in. How is it that I manage to screw this up so badly?

I still don't have an answer.

So I do the next thing I can think of. I cry. I sit there and stare at the cert, and I cry. It seems silly, stupid even, but it's the only thing I know works. Because even though I don't know what I did wrong, at the very least I can... Oh I don't know. I don't know what crying can achieve. I just cry.

I cry until I look up and I dry my tears and I continue writing this because frankly, I can't gather the energy to go to my drawer and take out my diary and pen this shit down.

I know it's sounds stupid of me to be crying about this B on my cert, because it's not even counted in my marks and I know of other people who fared not as good as me, but I can't help it. It's a B in a subject I actually had a lot of faith in. If it was an A, well maybe I wouldn't be as sad... But a B? Honestly? After scoring A1s (and pretty damn good A1s at that)? A B is just unacceptable.

I don't feel like I've let my parents down. Or my teachers.

I feel like I let myself down.

And then I realise what's left to do.

I apologize to myself.

and it's like the fog has lifted

2011-01-08T22:03:00.003+08:00

Tangled rocks, by the way (HAHA AS IF I HAVEN'T MADE IT CLEAR THAT IT IS MY CURRENT FAVOURITE MOVIE OF ALL TIME).

Rapunzel, Flynn/Eugene, Pascal and Maximus have twitter acccounts too! @letdownherhair, @flynnrider, @pascalsnotafrog, @maximusthehorse :D SO SO SO CUTE RIGHT.

andddddd there's one new account too! The Pub Thugs are now on twitter (@wevegotdreams)! :D

HAHAHA SO CUTE SO CUTE SO CUTE (L)

MY OBSESSION WITH TANGLED WILL NOT DIE OUT SO SOON ;)

2011-01-08T22:00:00.003+08:00

I should go for drama...right? I mean, it's something I've always kicked myself in the ass for not doing, and now that I've got the chance to do it (as an actual subject, no less), I should, shouldn't I?

But the thing is... I don't know if I can pull it off.

I recall myself getting really excited 2 years ago when I realised that Drama was an actual A Level subject, and I recall myself telling people that that is what I would aim for in the future... But the future just seems so vague right now that I can't really tell what's in store for me.

Hmmm. Now what?

FLYNN RIDER/EUGENE FITZHERBERT = BEST MALE DISNEY PROTAGONIST EVER

2011-01-07T23:27:00.002+08:00

disney males ranked scientifically by dreaminess, #1b

flynn rider/eugene fitzherbert, tangled (2010)

a fake reputation is all a man has.

Look, at some point during the development of Tangled, the people involved had a legitimate meeting solely dedicated to making Flynn hot. So, he originally looked like this, and were like, WELL I GUESS HE NEEDS TO BE ATTRACTIVE, and so the current version of Flynn was born, scientifically engineered to be hella fine. And certainly, these choices were to my taste: hair! sleeves! vest! adorably expressive eyebrows! These things, they are appealing. Thanks, Tangled execs, you made a move I would like to send you some tokens of my undying gratitude for.

In the spirit of being succinct: Ten reasons Flynn is the greatest, and claimed his portion of the #1 spot on this list mere moments into the film:

rakishly handsome, see: my childhood adoration of Dimtri
voiced by Zachary Levi, a dreamboat in his own right
totally a dork underneath his suave exterior
king of hilarious one-liners, the quickest of wits
if you are about to see the lantern ceremony you have dreamed about your whole life, he will make sure you get the best seat in the fucking house.
loves books and stories enough to name himself after his favorite character from one
open to new things, flexible, see: his quick understanding of the superiority of frying pans as a weapon.
capable of recognizing when it is not his story (makes it explicit in the opening monolgue, even), no matter what sexist marketing ploys his production company tries
able to see the levity in most any situation, brush things off with a well-timed joke or incredulous expression
excellent taste in real estate, ambitious, wants a castle

in conclusion, adorable and dashing enough that he snuck his way squarely into a foremost position in my heart.

ALTHEA: I FOUND THIS ON TUMBLR AND I JUST HAD TO POST IT HERE BECAUSE I COMPLETELY AGREE WITH IT (L)

I find #4, #5, #6, #8 and #10 the cutest.

TANGLED

2011-01-06T00:20:00.002+08:00

I caught Tangled with Rachel Quah and Eindra on the 29th, and I have to say that I absolutely loved it to bits :D Haha, no seriously. I think it's one of Disney's best animated films everrrr.

Rapunzel is so pretty and her voice is awesome and I love the songs and Flynn Rider/Eugene Fitzherbert is the handsome-est thief I've ever seen and he's so sweet and cute and charming and funny and I love Pascal and Maximus too and I think Mother Gothel is one hell of a villain because she's so complex and there is just so many sides to her and I like trying to analyze her character because I like to do stupid things like this and did I mention that Rapunzel and Eugene/Flynn make such a cute adorable couple and the male character is handsome in this Disney Princess movie not like the other lousy ugly princes and Flynn/Eugene was useful not like the other useless princes too and argh I can't stand it the movie was seriously freaking amazing.

So, I did the only reasonable thing to do.

I watched it again on New Year's Day (surprise, surprise!).

But this time with my family. Mum said she liked it (though not as hardcore as me or my sisters I suppose), but Dad was like 'waste my money only'. HAHA. So typical guy behaviour.

And since then, I've been stalking the Tangled fanfiction archive like a prowling cat and I have been religiously reading Tangled fanfiction as if there is no tomorrow and I keep thinking about the movie and listening to the songs (Alan Menken and Glenn Slater are totally amazing at being a composer and lyricist respectively). I seem to have developed an obsession over an animated film.

I want the movie poster so bad right now. So I can hang it on the bare walls of my room. Popkart (is that how you spell it?), the poster shop at Suntec City, doesn't have Tangled Posters. I hope they do in the near future. Because the other shops I've seen online are all in USA and there's one with shipping costs of 68 USD and I was like WTF I can't afford that. So Popkart better have it soon or I'll really ask the cinema if they want the poster :'(

On a side note, I'll be forever grateful if someone buys me a Flynn Rider/Eugene Fitzherbert or Rapunzel doll :) Or maybe even a cast-iron frying pan. BETTER STILL, BUY ME THE DVD WHEN IT COMES OUT IN MARCH! :D

Right. So. Vivian seems to have not watched any movies this holiday because of work, so maybe I'll ask her to watch Tangled with me :D I vaguely recall her saying she wants to watch too :) YAY. And I checked the movie timings already. There are still showtimes for Tangled next Tuesday, which is after results day and before open house day :DDDDD

(Yeah, O Level results will be out on Monday, 10th Jan '10 at 2pm in school. Finally. The wait is killing me slowly.)

I read this fanfiction where the authoress says she watched Tangled twice in the same day, and 5 times in total. One has watched Tangled 6 times. AHHH I LOVE THE FACT THAT TANGLED HAS SO MANY HARDCORE FANS :DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

Funshion has Tangled :D Although the quality isn't that good. But it'll feed my addiction for awhile before I get a chance to ask Vivian if she wants to watch it. YAY YAY YAY.

Hmmm. If she doesn't want to watch it, I suppose I could just watch it by myself. Speaking of that, I was sorely tempted to watch the 3pm Tangled at Century Square today. I was there with squadmates after our chalet (we caught Little Fockers, which cannot hold a candle to the likes of Tangled, naturally), and I saw the timing and I was like 'I WANT TO WATCH DAMN IT' hahaha :)

Right. So I'm now hunting for the poster. Argh. If anyone sees it, please buy it for meeeeee (not that anyone reads my blog, but still) - I'll pay you back. I WANT MY TANGLED POSTER :'(

Btw, I think calling it Rapunzel: A Tangled Tale is just strange. Why not just keep it as Tangled? Hmmm.

Alright. Back to my lovely Tangled fanfiction. My favourite fic has to be What You Don't Know by Airplanes. Google it if you want. It's written entirely in the present tense, and guess what? It's M rated, hahahaha. I'm guilty as charged.

Cheerio!

P.S: OH WHERE OH WHERE CAN MY TANGLED POSTER BE?

P.P.S: I WANT THE DVD RIGHT NOW >:(

P.P.P.S: THIS IS ONE ADDICTION/OBSESSION I'M QUITE HAPPY TO HAVE HEHE

P.P.P.P.S: MAYBE I'LL WRITE SOME ANALYSIS ON MOTHER GOTHEL WHEN I HAVE THE TIME :D

FOR NARNIA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2010-12-26T23:59:00.003+08:00

I have returned to being a Narnia fanatic :)

I'mma read Narnia fanfiction during the course of this week. Damn. If I didn't have to work tomorrow, I would definitely read some Narnia fanfiction tonight until really really late :( I'm gonna start with Royal Findings :D And then Royal Findings II, and then I'm going to find some EdmundOC fics hahahahaha :DDDDDD

YAY FOR THE REALM OF FANFICTION.

P.S: I loved Voyage of the Dawn Treader :D It was such a different feeling from Caspian, where the themes were darker and everything. But no more Pevensie children from now on! :( I NEED TO SEE SKANDAR KEYNES ON THE BIG SCREEN AGAIN :'( I do hope they do The Silver Chair! Even if none of the Pevensies will be there... :/

2010-12-12T12:25:00.001+08:00

"Right now, out there, someone you haven't met is wondering what it would be like to meet someone like you"

2010-11-29T01:36:00.002+08:00

I don't know what's wrong with me. I keep changing my relationship status and I don't know what to label it as.

My life is just another form of dramedy.

Firework, Grenade, Dynamite Medley - Sam Tsui & Kurt Schneider

2010-11-28T23:17:00.001+08:00

why is it that everything Sam sings and Kurt produces instantly makes my heart race the moment I listen to it?

THIS IS FREAKING AWESOME

2010-11-28T02:20:00.002+08:00

HA! I'M SUCH AN AWESOME FANGIRL

SAM'S MIDDLE NAME STARTS WITH AN 'S' AND HE'S OF CHINESE ORIGIN AND I THINK HE KNOWS HOW TO WRITE CHINESE WORDS

AND HE DOES GRAPHIC DESIGNS I'VE SEEN HIS GRAPHIC DESIGN PAGE. ALL I CAN SAY IS: TALENTED

HOW DO GUYS LIKE HIM EXIST? HE'S LIKE THE EPITOME OF PERFECTION I TELL YOU. HE'S SMART, MAJORS IN CLASSICAL GREEK, SINGS BLOODY WELL, ACTS, AND IS TALENTED IN ART TO BOOT.

HE. IS. SO. HOT.

fuck he has set the standard, and it's insanely high. Now I'm afraid I may never get a boyfriend.

it was only just a dream

2010-11-26T11:58:00.002+08:00

Hmmm... We start at 5 and end at 6 apparently. Janine just got a call saying they're reshuffling so we're doing a solid hour all at one go. And we're removing 2 songs from our list, although which ones I have no idea. We're also reshuffling duties :/ I hope I don't get assigned more songs.

Fingers dying/voice box sore right now but we're pressing on! Teammates smsed to say they will be in the audience somewhere haha :D YAY I haven't seen some of them since we broke off for O levels...

HAHA I CAN'T WAIT I'LL BLOG ABOUT THIS AGAIN (maybe).

I was thinking 'bout you, thinking 'bout me

2010-11-26T01:05:00.004+08:00

TOMORO IS OPEN MIKE AND GUESS WHAT?

WE'RE PLAYING!

Yup, that's right. For a whole one hour, you'll see nothing but a couple of teenagers on stage playing random mainstream music while you sit in your chair and drink coffee/eat your food.

I was supposed to be working, and hence I was originally not going to attend... but I'm only starting next week :D SO I AM BACK ON THE BAND BABEH

There's me, Tian Yu, Joel, Jun Hao, Justin, Chris, Jeslyn and Janice. Usually Christopher and Sera are included, but this time, they're both overseas. So we're down to 8 people. A bummer, but we're still going to do this right :) Now that I think about it, it's still a pretty big group...

Well, I'm on guitar, tambourine and *legasp* vocals. I'm afraid people will have to seek their insurance agents for ear drum insurance or something. And I think Tian Yu wants me to play the keyboard for one of the songs we're doing (she hasn't answered my sms yet).

Also, because I am a last minute edition to the band, I HAVE NOT PRACTISED WITH THEM AT ALL :O But we should be fine. We're going to rehearse at Justin's in the afternoon. Jun Hao was actually covering for me, but since I'm on the band again, he's going to resume playing his bass guitar.

I just got the song list a few minutes ago, and it looks like for that one hour we're playing, we're going to do many songs:

1. OUR MEDLEY (L) - (includes)

Tik Tok, Permanent December, Replay, Baby, Just Dance, Bad Romance, Umbrella, Your Love is My Drug

2. Teenage Dream - Katy Perry

3. Hey Soul Sister/Nothin' On You Mash-up - Train/B.o.B ft. Bruno Mars

4. The Only Exception - Paramore

5. Dance Floor Anthem - Good Charlotte

6. Break Your Heart - Taio Cruz ft. Ludacris

7. Bad Romance - Lady Gaga

(and here, we will have probably hit 30 min and we'll have our break of like 1h 15 min before we get the finishing act slot for the day)

8. You Belong With Me - Taylor Swift

9. Crush - David Archuleta

10. For Always, Forever - Every Avenue

11. Forget You - Cee Lo Green

12. Haunted - Taylor Swift

13. Over You - Daughtry

14. Just a Dream - Nelly

15. Baby - Justin Bieber

YUP 15 SONGS :D I need to practise more :/ I'm unfamiliar with the chords on 'Haunted' and the 'Hey Soul Sister/Nothin' On You' Mash-up...

OK I GOT TO GO SLEEP SINCE IT'S LIKE 2AM AND I HAVE TO GET UP BEFORE 12PM HAHA :D

I'll blog while at Justin's place tomorrow or something. Gosh, can't wait :)

Cheerio (Dan, you've rubbed off me quite a bit now)

Althea (:

don't jump.

2010-11-20T02:25:00.002+08:00

"Whatever you do, don't fall. Don't let go. Don't jump in head-first. Because when you do, you'll find that there's no way you can get out. And you'll just go deeper, and deeper and deeper... Until you find yourself in so deep that you can't go in anymore. That's the worst part.

Because when the walls cave in, you won't be able to get out. You won't be able to escape. It'll just be you, and the collapsing ground. No one will hear you scream. No one will be there to take you by the hand and pull you out. Because you'll be in too deep. The consequences will be too disastrous.

So, that's why I say this: Whatever you do, don't fall. Don't let go. Don't jump in head-first. Because when you do, you'll never come back up."

(Adapted from: Going Somewhere?, bubblicious NaNoWriMo 2010 (c)opyright)

2010-11-20T02:11:00.002+08:00

"best friends thea best friends (:"

thanks a lot, best friend. :D i'm glad we finally got it sorted out.

I'm like, forget you.

2010-11-20T01:19:00.002+08:00

And although there's pain in my chest

I still wish you the best with a

fuck you

;)

2010-11-20T00:30:00.000+08:00

JLee was right, it seems.

Well, whatever.

2010-11-16T00:58:00.001+08:00

SARAH RUHL: THE CLEAN HOUSE AND OTHER PLAYS

~$30 IN TAKASHIMAYA'S KINOKUNIYA

I WANT I WANT I WANT

away

2010-11-14T22:39:00.000+08:00

I LOVE MONK AND I LOVE THIS SONG

2010-11-14T21:16:00.002+08:00

340th post O_O

I WANT A NEW GUITAR GRRRR >:(

And I really need a Capo -coughbirthdaypresentcough-

Just saying.

PLUSHIES

2010-11-14T16:32:00.007+08:00

A TOGEKISS DOLL

I WANT I WANT I WANT

IT HARDLY LOOKS CUDDLY

BUT WHO CARES

--x--

EEVEE AND ITS EEVEELUTIONS DOLLS

I WANT

MY FIRST PAYCHECK WILL GO TO THIS

(maybe not though, the other Pokemon dolls look cuter... and Umbreon just looks weird here)

--x--

SO CUTE RIGHT

THIS IS THE CUTEST ONE I'VE FOUND

(NEXT TO TOGEKISS, I MEAN)

A LAPRAS PLUSHIE

OMG THIS WOULD BE THE BEST PRESENT EVER

EVEN WHEN I'M LIKE 20 YEARS OLD

I THINK I'LL STILL LOVE THIS

--x--

if we were a movie

2010-11-14T14:26:00.002+08:00

MOVIES I WANT TO WATCH THIS HOLIDAY

1. HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS

(THE PENULTIMATE MOVIE! going to watch next week! 9.30pm show :D gosh I can't bloody wait)

2. TANGLED

(The Rapunzel character looks so cute haha :D )

3. UNSTOPPABLE

(Vivian said this wasn't really worth it, but it's CHRIS PINE we're talking about here, I don't care if it isn't that nice)

4. EASY A

(I have a feeling it'll be NC16 or M18 or something though)

AND I HAVE A TON OF MOVIES TO RENT/DL/WATCH ONLINE YAY

1. NOTTING HILL

(HUGH GRANT HUGH GRANT HUGH GRANT)

2. FOUR WEDDINGS AND A FUNERAL

(MORE HUGH GRANT)

3. THE LAKE HOUSE

(Sandra Bullock :D And the movie's premise sounds nice)

4. BRIDGET JONES' DIARY

(I NEED TO WATCH THIS :D)

5. BECOMING JANE

(Mum has the CD, I just need to pop it into the player :D)

6. DISNEY MOVIES

(Haven't thought of WHICH ones to watch exactly, but I'm definitely going to watch some :D)

YAY TOMORROW IS THE END OF O LEVELS

A LEVELS HERE I COME

major spam ahead

2010-11-14T14:24:00.003+08:00

HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS

I.CAN'T.WAIT

2010-11-13T17:00:00.001+08:00

I'm sleepy. Like all the time. Damn.

hey, you don't know me but...

2010-11-13T00:07:00.009+08:00

_ _ _ _ e _,

I haven't known you for very long. A few months really. Didn't have a very strong impression of you from our first encounter, but now... I think you're nice. I mean, nicer than some people I know.

Which is strange considering the fact that we've barely conversed since our first encounter till today. The longest sentence you've ever said to me was about work. And it was an answer to a question I had that wasn't even directed at you.

I don't know, but I just... feel that I should have talked to you a little bit more. I'm sorry, but I'm someone who prefers to emo in a corner whenever I am in a new environment :/

Well... when I saw you talking to _ _ today... Talking. Yeah. Key word. And you were smiling. With you and me, it's just [blink]+[stare]+[turn away]+[resume doing what we were doing]. I wish we could have been more open with one another. I honestly do. And now, knowing that I'll probably never ever see you again... it kind of just hit me, you know?

So I'm sorry if I've come across as being cold and unfriendly and a bitch, but I really do like you.

You're really... quiet. Not like the other people. And you don't treat everything like some... game or something. You're serious. But not too serious. I like that. I think we could have cliqued well. Gosh, I sound like a stalker. Anyway, I mean it. You're really nice. You've got that nice vibe around you. And yesterday, when we were looking at the same thing, you were really nice too. Not like some other people who don't have others in mind... So yeah. I like you.

...

So... I guess this is the end huh? You and me, we never really had a story to tell. I don't think we're friends, but we're much more than acquaintances as well... so what does that make us? Between-friends-and-acquaintances? Friendquaintances? I don't know. I just know that I probably should have said something just now as I left. Because really, I won't ever see you again, will I? Unsaid words are perhaps the biggest regret of all.

Which is why I'm going to say whatever I wanted to say as I left just now. Right here. Even though you probably do not know of the existence of this blog, or really know about my inner dilemma regarding you (and me I suppose). I just want to get it off my chest.

So here we go! This is exactly what I wanted to say to you when I saw you earlier today:

Hey _ _ _ _ e _, good luck for Bio on Monday [insertsmilehere] :)

3 MORE DAYS

2010-11-12T23:48:00.002+08:00

O LEVELS OVER SOON I CAN'T WAIT I'M ALREADY IN HOLIDAY MOOD YEAH

Drank Gong Cha Milk Tea with JC today before Advo and brought it up to class. LOL MY CHEM MCQ DIE LAH SO MANY WRONG THERE GOES MY A...

Okok anyway. Did 2001-2007 Bio MCQ, felt damn good, wanted to do 2008 but JC had to leave and I didn't feel like doing it anymore after I did till question 2... HAHA. But not bad leh I do 2001-2007 in 3 hours. Or was it 3 and a half. Okay, maybe it was the latter. AND I GOT HIGH SCORES FOR EVERY SINGLE ONE I DID OKAY :)

Bio is so much more fun to do than chem. But I'm biased.

When I got home, the house was empty. I took a shower, ate my bread and watched Law and Order: SVU for an hour (it was a very nice episode and I'm not ashamed to admit that I cried at the end), and watched 2 episodes of Masterchef US (with Chef Gordon Ramsay) :D I LOVE SHOWS LIKE THESE :DDDDDD

QY and Audrey came back, then Mum and Dad came back. Guess what. THEY BOUGHT ME GONG CHA MILK TEA HAHA SO COINCIDENTAL! Apparently it's still in the fridge now waiting to be drunk. I can't drink because Audrey called dibs on it -.-

OH OH MOST EXCITING NEWS OF THE DAY:

.....

....

THEY DIDN'T GET MY APPLICATION!

It's a blessing in disguise really. I thought they didn't want me in haha. Then the nice teacher said to send her a soft copy. Just did that 2 hours ago. I hope they don't mind the big fat "NIL" there under "Previous Theatre Experience"... :/

Alright. Tomorrow is slacking day and I'm going to be slacking. Oh I meant tomorrow is Saturday and I'm going to be slacking, sorry. Play computer and write my NaNoWriMo Novel. I'm going to change it. "Enigma" is turning out to be more of a Harry Potter spin-off by the word. The problem with loving Harry Potter so much is that when you write fantasy stories involving magic schools, they somehow turn out like HP if you're not careful. And I was certainly not careful.

Hence, I'm leaving "Enigma" now. Maybe going to turn it back to it's original plot. Which was a HP fanfiction. Maybe I will write it like I was supposed to. As fanfiction. At least I need not explain so much all the time. And I have access to spells/school/magic terms/conflict/characters. Very nicely mapped out.

I'm going to be attempting another NaNoWriMo novel then :/ Probably some cheesy corny story. Oh, and I'm going to do a one-shot or multiple-chapter short story with a happy ending for a change. I already have the idea, just need to get my fingers typing...

Alright then. Sorry for the incoherent typing today. I'm just a little bit stressed and a little bit not stressed so I think it's messing with my ability to string words together like I normally do.

Cheerio! :D

2010-11-12T23:47:00.002+08:00

OKAY APPARENTLY I WASN'T TALKING TO DAN I WAS TALKING TO HIS FRIENDS.

Unreliability of MSN Messenger.

2010-11-12T23:46:00.001+08:00

Dan is driving me up the wall lah seriously. Keep telling me all this random information and asking me these stupid questions and I don't know how to answer and he's like "HAHAHAHAHAHA" and I'm like "WTH"

Is he doing this on purpose. It's not funny.

Okay fine, it's a little funny. BUT STILL.

Remixed and Redefined

2010-11-06T22:31:00.003+08:00

This is why a lot of people cannot stand Disney nowadays. What happened to the good ol' Disney songs? Yknow, those that weren't remixed and stuff? I'm sure they'd still sell now. Stupid marketing ploys -.-

2010-11-06T21:45:00.001+08:00

FREAK LAH I'M MISSING MY LAW AND ORDER SVU SATURDAY BECAUSE I'M STUDYING SS

ASDF&JAS*DFNJ15DGHA*Y7382T5RSAF%@!FSFAADVBA^*$&^S!%&

SHHH I AM GOING TO TALK ABOUT MY OTHER SECRET CRUSH

2010-11-06T00:53:00.003+08:00

Drew Roy is so hot I could die. Seriously. That guy could date and dump me as many times as he wants. I wouldn't even notice because I'd be too busy looking at him. AND HIS VOICE IS AS HOT AS HE LOOKS.

AHHHHH I LOVE HANNAH MONTANA MORE BECAUSE HE'S IN IT I HOPE HE'S IN THE FINALE HE BETTER BE OR I WILL CRY :'(

DREW ROY = (L)

2010-11-05T18:49:00.001+08:00

I maybe-kind-of-sort-of-probably-possibly forgot about tuition today :/ HAHA.

Disney Movies are awesome

2010-11-04T23:30:00.005+08:00

I'm downloading Mulan right now. Gosh, I love the Disney Renaissance Period. Love love love.

If I had to rank my favourite disney movies, it would be something like this:

1. Beauty and the Beast and Mulan (it's a tie; I can't decide on just one)

3. The Little Mermaid

4. Hercules

5. Sleeping Beauty

6. Cinderella

7. Tarzan and The Hunchback of Notre Dame (another tie)

9. Snow White

Yeah, I didn't really enjoy Snow White that much :/ Snow White herself kind of scares me. She's too... fair. Maybe I should watch it again.

I LOVE MULAN YAY~

Mulan - I'll Make a man out of you

2010-11-04T19:46:00.001+08:00

idiot ex-boyfriends

2010-11-04T15:05:00.003+08:00

Forget it.

You're not worth whatever I feel for you.

2010-11-04T01:26:00.002+08:00

I'm in a huge writing mood now. One-shots everywhere. Maybe 'cause NaNoWriMo is going on and I have yet to start embarking on my 50,000 word novel. Hmmm.

If I ever get a boyfriend, I hope he knows how to write nice poetry/stories :) And is insanely awesome. Like themilkbottle's boyfriend. God knows how many guys like that exist.

Supposedly

2010-11-03T23:40:00.000+08:00

Supposedly

He kept the champagne glasses.

He never knew why he did it, but he did. The empty glasses remained on his side table – the one next to the floor to ceiling window. Empty, but not forgotten. Dust collected on the rims and on the insides of the glass, but he always remembered to clean them.

In the beginning, people asked why he kept those glasses; didn’t he always complain that they were the most hideous pair of glassware he had ever seen? Pink-tinted glasses looked horrible anyway, so why did he keep them? Why not throw them away?

Back then, his answer would be the same: his girlfriend liked them there.

But now, with that relationship lost and gone like the summer breeze in autumn, nobody could understand why those glasses were still sitting on the table. Wouldn’t it be better to remove them from view? Wouldn’t that make it easier for him to move on?

He could not understand either. Still, he kept them there. Everyone assumed he kept them there as a silent reminder of the things they used to do, the things they could have done…

The things that they should have done.

As the months flew by, the empty glasses slowly became a symbol of his lost love. Day by day, they reminded him of everything that he once had. Everytime he cast a gaze upon the glasses, a pang of sadness would overwhelm him.

In retrospect, he really should have just thrown them away. It would have been better, healthier even, to do that. Thinking about the girl who stole his heart and charmed him with that mega-watt smile everyday was extremely detrimental to his mental health. He threw the other gifts and burned those photographs, so why didn’t he throw the glasses away too?

He thought long and hard about it, spending days and nights trying to figure out the reason for why he would do such a stupid thing. He tried staring at the windows, he tried staring at the horizon, he tried staring at the night sky, but he could not come up with anything. Finally, he relented, and returned to the sofa, utterly defeated.

That’s when his gaze landed on the champagne glasses again. Maybe it was all that intense staring he did, maybe it was because of the red wine he had just finished, or maybe it was because he was sleepy, but he suddenly found what he was looking for.

There, right next to the champagne glasses, was the ghostly image of himself and his (ex)girlfriend, laughing and talking while drinking champagne from the very same glasses. He was wearing a dark green polo tee-shirt while she was in a sky blue blouse with a white skirt.

Their first, of many, dates at his house.

It was at that precise moment that he realized why he kept the glasses there.

It was to remember , to celebrate, their lost love. Their once-upon-a-time.

Now he knew: he never stopped loving her. Even after that fateful evening – the one where he was planning to ask her a very simple yet alarmingly complicated question. The silver band remained in his pocket, and he waited for an opportune moment. Patiently. But it never came.

Because after what he thought was always an honest, passionate, wonderful 2 years together, she broke up with him. Ended it right there at the restaurant. She told him she was looking for someone exciting and interesting. Apparently, he didn’t meet the criteria anymore. Her colleague took his place in her heart. The irony was that said colleague was his best friend.

And yet, he never resented the two. He didn’t get angry with her, he didn’t shout, he didn’t do anything to her. All he did was suffer in silence, removed all the photographs and memories and incinerated them. The champagne glasses were the only thing he kept.

Once he had figured this out, the thought of giving those glasses back to her did cross his mind. After all, it was she who had purchased them from the store, so it would make more sense to return them to her. But they remained on his table. He repeatedly reminded himself to take them to her, but something stopped him every time. It was just that he never realized what it was that prevented him from doing so. Until now.

He attended their wedding. Everyone assumed he wouldn’t show (and frankly she only invited him to be polite and because she thought he wouldn’t turn up), but he did. He sat through the entire solemnization, the exchanging of rings, and even witnessed the kiss that sealed the deal. He listened to his best friend talk about how the two of them met, and heard her sing praises about her new husband. He saw her walk back up the aisle as a married woman, he saw the two of them at the buffet table feeding one another some cake, and saw them walking around the room hand-in-hand.

They accepted his congratulations and well-wishes, although he knew they probably thought he was just trying to pretend to be sincere. He was sincere though. If she was happy with him, then so be it. There were other fish in the sea, weren’t there? He was bound to find someone for him some day. He shook the groom’s hand and gave the bride an awkward pat on the back. Then, he left them to greet the other guests.

As he walked over to the buffet table again, he turned for one split second and saw her smile. The smile that she once said would only be seen by him. It was her smile for him. It was his smile.

And when he saw her giving “the other guy” the same smile, he snapped.

Excusing himself, he walked briskly out of the ballroom and into his convertible. As luck would have it, the bridal car was parked right next to his. Why was everyone tormenting him so? He drove out of the parking lot and went straight home. He flung the door wide open and stormed right up to the champagne glasses that still stood on the table undisturbed. He grabbed the two glasses. He raised them both above the ground, ready to smash them onto the floor…

But he couldn’t. Slowly, the glasses were placed back onto the table carefully. When he looked at them again, it seemed as though nobody had touched them. He sank down onto the floor, placed his head between his knees, and sobbed. The whole world shook.

A few hours later, he was up and running about again. There were errands to be done, bills to be paid, presentations to run through… There just wasn’t time for him to sit around feeling sorry for himself! He got up and pretended nothing had happened. Guys weren’t supposed to be this soft anyway. He had to take it like a man! The ladies may cry over men, but the men never cried over the ladies. It was like an unspoken rule in the How to Be a Proper Man handbook.

In the next few months, he never saw much of the newly-weds. The last time he heard, they were happy and well, and had a huge house right next to the beach. She had always expressed an interest in owning a house that was near the beach. As far as possible, he stayed away from them. The two companies have a function together next Sunday ? He was sick. Their companies involved in a joint project? Sorry, too busy with other work to take on the job. Business meeting for all company executives of every company in the area? Dentist appointment. Excuses, excuses, excuses.

He didn’t want to see them together. It would be too much for his weak little heart to take. Already he was trying to drown himself in work; why did he need to commit social suicide by grabbing opportunities to see the lovely couple face-to-face?

And so, gradually, not thinking about her became easier. He stopped thinking about them. He began going out with other colleagues, college friends and family members. A few dates here and there, maybe some drinks sometimes, but nothing serious. Just some light-hearted fun to take his mind of work and other pressing matters, that’s all. Occasionally his gaze would land on the champagne glasses, and it would linger there for a few seconds, but that was generally it. No reminiscing, no wishing he could replay it, no listening to crappy heartbreak songs on his iPod. He was finally beginning to forget her.

However, fate always had a way of playing tricks on him. Eight months after the wedding – eight long, tiring months – he got a call from an old friend. Guess whose car rammed into a tree at midnight the day before?

Of course, their respective families organized their funerals. And obviously, they were going to be buried right next to each other, with their tombstones side by side. Family members and friends gave their eulogies somberly, one after the other. He didn’t pay much attention to the eulogies of his previous best friend, but instead listened closely to the eulogies of his ex-girlfriend.

They did manage to talk about how lovely and charming she was, and most people did quite a good job with talking about her personality and the like. But he noticed nobody talked about her. It was all that superficial crap; the same things over and over again.

To be honest, it angered him slightly. Yet he chose not to do anything about it simply because he felt he had no right to. After all, who was he? The jealous, depressed, loser ex-boyfriend that loved her too much to let her go. So he kept quiet and endured those forty minutes that felt like forever.

When it was time to bury the short-lived couple, everyone gathered around the pit. He saw her mother sobbing hysterically, her father standing next to her with his usual stoic expression, and her sister being comforted by her boyfriend. Upon closer look, everyone was consoling one another. But no one was consoling him. Perhaps they felt that he wasn’t that affected by their passing.

Her mother placed a few roses on the top of her coffin, and his father placed a white lily on his coffin. Blood red and snow white – when worlds collide, that would have been what it felt like.

He got home late that night, after spending an extra forty-five minutes driving around town aimlessly. He thought about his life, her life, their life, and life in general. He thought and thought and thought, and finally knew what to do.

The next morning, he woke up at the crack of dawn. After his usual morning routine, he picked up the bag that he had packed the night before and headed out to the cemetery. The car ride was quick, silent, and painless. Nothing like he expected it to be.

Stepping out of the car, he carried the huge black bag and made his way to her resting place. It wasn’t that difficult to miss it; two huge white marble slabs didn’t really blend in the crowd of white stones.

He knelt down in front of her stone and said a little prayer for her. And for him. Then, he opened his bag and removed a pink bubble-wrapped item. He unwrapped it, and for a moment, a wry smile graced his face.

Sighing, he placed two pink champagne glasses at the foot of her tombstone. The same two that she had given him all those years ago, the same two that he had kept on his table for 2 solid years.

“Hey, I hope you’re doing fine… wherever you are.” He adjusted his tie nervously, not knowing what to say. What were you supposed to say to a dead ex-girlfriend? “I… I…” he stuttered, still unsure of what to say.

“I hope you know I forgive you.” Wait, where did that come from?

But he didn’t stop there. His mouth was working on its own. “I never blamed you or anything, and I never hated you. In fact… I never stopped loving you.” He paused, and suddenly, he knew what he wanted to say.

“I love you, I always have. Even when you got married to him. I think that was pretty silly of me, huh? But that’s love for you. Silly, stupid, and… selfless.

I don’t know when you stopped loving me. Honestly, I would rather you never tell me. But I just want you to know… on that day we broke up… I wanted to propose to you. I guess I got beaten to it, huh?

Well… I do hope you’re having a nice time up there. I heard heaven is a very pleasant place. I wonder if you can hear me. I wonder what you look like now. Do you have wings? A halo, perhaps?” He stopped again, feeling irrelevant.

“… I’m actually here to return the champagne glasses to you. If I recall correctly, you loved them. And I think I should have given them back to you when we broke up… but… I’m sorry for that, haha.” He ran his hand through his hair. “Yeah, so they’re yours again. Maybe you can use them in heaven?”

He bit his lip, feeling kind of stupid. Shaking his head to clear his thoughts, he looked up at the sky. Grey, billowing clouds were gathering above him, a foreshadowing of the thunderstorm that was to come. “Just… take care of yourself, alright.” He smiled at her tombstone and bowed his head in respect.

“And you,” he said, turning to her husband’s tombstone. “Look after her.” A chuckle escaped his lips and before long, a small tear ran down his cheek. “I miss you, man. I miss the times we went running around in college together, I miss the times we played in the school orchestra… I miss you, in general. I don’t blame you either, and I hope you know that.”

He took a deep breath. “Best friends till the end of time, right?”

His head once again dipped slightly and he stood up. By now, the clouds that had gathered above were numerous in number, and he had a feeling that if he didn’t go soon, he would be going to work drenched from head-to-toe.

“Well, goodbye then.”

Without looking back, he walked off the cemetery grounds. He felt relieved, as though a huge weight had been removed from his shoulders. Maybe he should have said all these while they were still alive, but better late than never.

When he got in the car, he started the ignition and drove off, with a bittersweet feeling at the tip of his tongue. He was finally free. And so was his heart.

At that precise moment, a crash of thunder landed on the spot where he was kneeling a few minutes ago.

And the pink champagne glasses?

They were broken.

©opyright Althea Tan Ying Xia 2010

I Know

2010-11-02T23:18:00.003+08:00

Come on, come on

Don't leave me like this

We pretend like we don't know each other; like this means nothing at all to either of us.

But I hope you know it's everything to me. And it hurts to know you don't care anymore.

I guess it's for the better then. You're entitled to your own life, and I will respect that, no matter how much I don't want to.

Have a great life (without me).

I thought I had you figured out.

To Whom It May Concern

2010-10-31T18:47:00.005+08:00

To Whom It May Concern

To Whom it May Concern:

While I was online, I saw something. Something I should have averted my gaze from.

It made me realise how much power you still have over me. I know I shouldn't have taken a second glance (okay, maybe I took the liberty of looking thrice), but somehow I couldn't help it. I just had to see it for myself.

And now I know, that whatever preconceived notions I once had, whatever stupid thoughts and feelings I once harboured, they are nothing more than just shattered remains of what I thought could happen.

What I wished would happen.

I never understood how your mind worked. Honestly, I never did. What's worse is that I never understood why I was so... fixated. There was just something about you that I liked. What it is (or to be more appropriate here, what it was), I will never find out. I never was able to put a finger to it, and I guess now I won't have to. Nobody will ask me anymore. Nobody cares anymore.

My friends never really got why I was friends with you. Wait, were we friends? I don't know what to call us. You'd say we were friends, but I find it hard to think that way. Because friends don't treat each other like how you treated me. We drifted quite far apart, don't you think? From the first time all the way to now.

You treated me like crap, but I didn't quite care till I was in a little too deep for my liking. You know something? You're the only person who has made fun of my dreams. The only one. So why on earth do I still talk to you? By right, you should be rotting in a hole and I shouldn't care.

But people always say: if there's a 'by right', there's always a 'by left'. I must have taken the pathway on the left then.

I seem to recall you saying you liked me then, but I suppose there is a huge difference in the words 'then' and 'now'. It was never going to work, was it? Because you and me, we're just too different.

Like two pieces of the same jigsaw puzzle that don't fit next to each other.

Perhaps I'm overreacting, but you just made that much of a difference in my otherwise boring, mundane life. I never should have carried this this far. Stopping before I became too wrapped up in this seems like a good idea now, but it didn't ever cross my mind back then.

I don't regret it though. Surprisingly. Because I think I have saved enough memories with me to keep me satisfied for a long time. I did some crazy things because of you, but I won't look back. If anything, you've given me a chance to prove that I can do something right for myself for once.

Seeing that online was enough to shake me awake. It drew the curtains, opened the doors and let the light in. I finally see that no amount of hoping and wishing would ever change things. You have your life, I have mine. I need, no, I must let go.

Therefore, I am going to make it a point to move on. I'm going to release you from my suffocating grasp, and I'm going to let your memory be something to keep me smiling before I go to bed every night. I will stop thinking of you. I admit I don't want to, but I have to. For the sake of both myself as well as you.

That being said, I hope you enjoyed what little time we had together. I did. I'm not so sure about you though.

I hope you're happy. Because if I can't have you, then I hope you can have someone that makes you laugh like I want to make you laugh. She seems nice enough, and you seem happy. I can tell from the fact that your smile is so brilliantly bright when you're next to her.

Don't worry, I'll get over you. You won't find me shaking in paroxysms of grief or anything the next time you see me. It'll be a casual "hello!" and I'll walk away with my head held high. At least, until I get far away from you. I'll be just fine.

I don't know what this feeling is. Disappointment? Sadness? Distress?

I don't know about you, but love tastes surprisingly bittersweet. Is it supposed to feel like this? Like someone just ripped a piece of you out and brought it to some far away island, and you know you can never get it back again yet you're somehow relieved that it's gone. It's like a very poetic sunset; the sun's gone down with the shades of salmon pink and crimson red, but the moon's only beginning to shine bright in the dark sky.

I don't know what else I should say to you. It feels very surreal.

I'll steer clear of you if you do the same to me. It seems selfish of me, and I'm sorry for that, but it'll be better for me if you keep your distance.

You'll never know what I feel for you, but I suppose that's a good thing.

Well, I suppose this is goodbye then.

...

The picture frame's empty now. I have a feeling it will be for quite some time.

All my (unrequited) love,

Leanne.

P.S: I love you.

--x--

Leanne held the letter in her hand tightly, as if her life depended on it. The skies were gloomier than usual. She knew that November was a time for monsoon rains, but today was unusually darker. Wishing she had remembered to bring an umbrella, she picked up her pace. She needed to get to his house before he arrived home from track practice at precisely 5pm.

The birds soared above, and for a moment, Leanne wished that she could be like them. She frowned, and shook her head to remove that thought from her head.

"Focus, Leanne!" she said to herself, turning the corner to that all-too-familiar street. It was as if her feet moved on their own accord. She didn't have to tell them where to go, they just brought her to the end of the road. To that quaint little house in the corner. That's where he lived.

All of a sudden, she stopped in her tracks. Her feet moved instinctively - she jumped to her side and found herself behind a huge oak tree. She took a deep breath to calm herself down, but felt a small tear form in her eye.

They were going into his house together, hand-in-hand.

She fervently wished that she could turn back time. Why did she even write that stupid darn letter to him? Why did she decide to make a trip down to his house to deliver it? Why, why, why?

Her heart hammered in her chest as Leanne peered around the oak tree to see if they were still at the doorway. They weren't. Immediately, she collapsed onto the ground, letter still clutched tightly in her right hand.

For the first time since she had seen that picture of the two of them on that blasted social networking site, Leanne cried. She cried and cried till her eyes were red and puffy and there were no more tears inside her.

Her fists pounded the soft ground below. Once, twice, thrice.

She tried standing up by herself, but she couldn't find the strength to haul herself up from the ground. Cursing inwardly, her hand found it's way to the sturdy bark of the oak tree. Leanne pushed herself against the bark and managed to stand up. But not before cutting herself against the rough surface.

"Damn it."

Her right hand had a long gash, and blood was trickling down her arm slowly. Placing the letter in the pocket of her jacket, she inspected the tree bark to search for whatever inflicted the injury on her. You know, just so she could get the satisfaction of kicking that part of the tree.

And that's when she noticed a carving on the tree. It was a simple 3 characters, but it made all the difference to her.

"L&R"

She remembered carving it a year ago, when she was waiting for him to come out from his house. They were going to go catch a movie together. The movie was irrelevant. All she really wanted was to spend time with him.

The floodgates opened once more, but Leanne didn't stop staring at the tree bark. She knew that he never saw it. Leanne made sure of that. She began to think about what would have happened if she had showed it to him, and then proceeded to admit her strong feelings towards him. Would things have turned out differently?

A crash of thunder resounded throughout the town, and Leanne looked up to see thick, fat droplets of rain pelting down from above. She cursed again before using her non-bloodied hand to cover her head with the hood of her jacket.

Leanne looked at his house once more. It wouldn't make sense to come all the way here only to go home unaccomplished. She was going to leave the letter here even if she died of a cold later. But how? She couldn't just waltz up to his house and ring the doorbell. She couldn't leave it in the mailbox. And she most certainly couldn't just leave it on his doorstep for the world to see.

A smile suddenly graced her face as she bent down and hurriedly tried to dig a hole in the ground. It was fairly easy, seeing as how the soil was already kind of muddy and wet. It was a stupid thing to do, really. Her right hand could get a bloody infection and she would have to chop it off and never fulfill her ambition of being a writer ever. But Leanne didn't care.

When a hole finally formed, she placed the letter inside and quickly covered it with soil. It was a very suitable spot; the carving was right above the place where the letter would rest undetected for eternity.

The deed was soon done, and the shadow of the girl who pined for someone she could never have soon disappeared from under the tree as well.

--x--

10 years later

Raphael sat on the bench, watching his little boy play hide-and-seek with his nephew near the oak tree. The huge one that was opposite his house. His brother, Randy, had come over for the weekend to help him cope with the divorce. Janessa and him might have had a kid together, but that didn't stop her from going out and... hanging around other guys. He didn't really know the details, and he preferred to be ignorant rather than find out about the number of guys that his ex-wife had played with.

Leslie waved at his father, and Raphael smiled at the four year old. Perhaps he was stupid for getting married to Janessa right after graduation. He should have known that she was only after his stupid money. He sighed, and looked at the sky. It was so blue, just like how he remembered the sky to be in this small town.

Janessa had made him move out to the city right after they got married, and Raphael obeyed. Thinking back, that's all he ever did while married to her. Obey.

But now, he was back in his hometown, where Leslie would grow up and the two of them would have each other. At least they had each other.

Maybe he should call up some of his old friends and have a reunion. Janessa never let him have any contact with his friends from high school and college, and he had to admit, he should have asserted his right to communicate with his friends. But he didn't. What kind of man was he?

A hen-pecked one, said a voice in the back of his head. And look where that got him.

"Thank god for good divorce lawyers," he mumbled.

He really missed his friends, especially those who kept him company all throughout high school. Jackson, Michelle, Caroline, Robert, Rochelle, Leanne....

Leanne.

A sudden stab of guilt pierced his heart. She never showed up at his wedding. In fact, she was the only one who returned the invite. She didn't answer his phone calls, and didn't return any messages he sent her. Later on, he found out from Michelle that Leanne had gone off to New York on a scholarship. Without telling him.

He supposed it was his fault they drifted apart. The two of them had a very... complicated relationship. They were friends, but yet, they weren't friends. He would talk to her sometimes, but they could also not speak to each other for a few weeks consecutively.

Once, he had told her that he liked her. It was a sort-of confession, very immature at that. But she never said anything about it. In fact, his friends made fun of him for quite awhile because they heard of her. The two of them just had fun hanging out together, but they were most definitely not best friends.

He never really expected her to take his confession seriously. After all, even he wasn't sure that he meant it. Part of him was glad she didn't say anything about it. Part of him wasn't. But slowly, he hid all the feelings he had for her deep inside his heart. Locked and sealed with an invisible key.

And then Janessa came along and changed everything.

Raphael frowned. He wondered how Leanne was doing. Maybe she was still in New York, maybe she was married, maybe she was investigating an alien invastion on Mars... oh, he didn't know. All he knew was that he seriously messed up his relationship with Leanne.

"Daddy, Daddy!" Raphael looked up to see Leslie approaching him with what looked like a dirty piece of paper.

"Why are your hands so dirty?" Typical adult reaction.

Leslie grinned and held the piece of paper out for his father to see. "Look! It's a letter! Me and Dylan dug it up while we were playing under the oak tree!"

"Go wash your hands, and put that letter back where you found it."

"But Daddy! Look! It has your name on it!"

Raphael raised an eyebrow. "Alright, Leslie. Give it to me and go wash your hands at the tap behind the neighbour's house. Take Dylan along with you please." He held out his hand and Leslie promptly placed the soiled envelope on his palm before skipping off with Dylan.

True enough, when he looked at the paper, his name was there. The ink was fairly smudged, but he could still make out his name. The letter looked old. Really old. The paper was slightly yellow, and parts of it looked as though something had chewed on it, but Raphael's curiosity got the better of him.

He ripped it open, and began to read.

--x--

Leanne frowned. Her stupid folder was nowhere to be found, and she really needed to find the document that was inside. Her apartment was a mess, and even the tunes of Mozart playing in the background couldn't calm her down.

She overturned more papers on her work desk. "Where is it?!" she yelled, getting more frustrated by the second. She had finally been able to get a publisher for her first book after years and years of waiting and now she couldn't find that blasted document that had all the details of her first meeting with the publisher.

After graduation from college in New York, she had gone on to do some freelance journalism while working on her first novel. After she had finished with it, she couldn't find a publisher.

Imagine her joy when one called her up to tell her that they had loved her story. She practically died from smiling so hard.

But if she didn't find that document... it would be back to square one again. And Leanne shuddered at the thought.

Just then, her phone vibrated and the shrill tone of Katy Perry's new single was heard. Leanne cursed. She seemed to be doing that a lot nowadays. She threw more papers onto the floor before finally locating her phone. The caller ID told her this call was not from someone she knew, and was someone who wasn't in New York.

She pressed the green button. "Hello? Who is this?"

The voice was male. "Leanne?"

Leanne's frustration only grew at the one-worded reply that didn't even answer her question.

"Yes, I'm Leanne and if you would have a single shred of self-decency you would hang up now because I have no time to entertain anonymous phone calls from outsiders who I probably don't even know and I really need to find my stupid freaking folder because if I don't my life is over and it will be even worse than the time that blasted Raphael got married to that girl and I don't really want to talk to you right now so please just hang up before I continue ranting and I throw my phone against the wall in sheer agony."

The other party chuckled. Leanne didn't get what was so funny. "Still the same huh?"

"Who the heck are you?" Leanne demanded, completely annoyed by the guy on the other side of the line. "If you don't tell me I'm going to hang up."

But nothing could have prepared her for the next reply.

"It's me, Leanne," whispered the man. "'That blasted Raphael', only I'm now a divorced Raphael."

Leanne dropped her phone onto the floor. She cursed again and spoke her trademark phrase.

"Damn it."

(c)opyright Althea Tan Ying Xia 2010

O LEVELSSSSSSS

2010-10-31T17:06:00.002+08:00

ARGH.

LIT IS GOING TO BE MY DOWNFALL.

I'm freaking scared I won't do well for it :/ seeing as how it's like my best subject and I'm like first in the level and shit so I have pressure to do well ://///

I hate being first.

ARGH.

2010-10-21T23:46:00.001+08:00

Freak lah, I fell down on the hill outside school yesterday and I have 3 bruises, 2 scraped knees and a small injury on my hand. Damn. It hurts.

Why do I keep falling down?

2010-10-16T17:04:00.001+08:00

LOL.

DAN TAYLOR IS THE NAME OF A CHARACTER IN "THE EVENT". THE AIR MARSHALL DUDE.

I find this hilariously funny.

we're face to face, but

2010-10-16T16:27:00.002+08:00

sometimes it's the awkward silences I like the best about our relationship.

Well yeah, I suppose they're.... awkward and everything, and I admit that I'm not exactly comfortable with them.... But I think it's these silences that people remember the best.

After twenty, thirty years, when we look back, we will probably remember these weird moments of silence rather than what we actually talked about that day. Maybe having such silences are good; meeting someone who continues yapping away isn't exactly pleasant either.

...

But I guess if too many awkward silences are present, that's not a good thing either.

DRAGONSEEDMUFFIN

2010-10-12T23:42:00.001+08:00

If you see this, please remind yourself to check your msn offline messages regularly. You're always MIA when I'm online.

don't say yes, run away now

2010-10-05T19:48:00.002+08:00

Taylor Swift's new song from her 3rd album (Speak Now):Click Here

It makes her sound like a marriage/relationship-wrecker. Seriously. Like she's the third party or something lah. Argh -.-

轻轻触摸未来遥远的风

2010-10-05T19:23:00.000+08:00

To whoever is reading this :)

2010-10-05T18:51:00.001+08:00

argh people write 3 pages and get 23/25 for lit.

I have to write 5 pages to get 23/25. What shit is this man.

OI ALTHEA TAN STOP RAMBLING DURING YOUR LIT EXAM AND TALK TO THE POINT OKAY!

all the way up

2010-10-03T18:13:00.001+08:00

I still get that weird feeling in my stomach.

But I suppose now I don't hesitate as much anymore.

That's good right?

2010-10-02T22:31:00.001+08:00

LOL THEY JUST HAD TO MENTION THAT ASH IS 10 IN BLACK AND WHITE

when this is all I have left, do I cling onto it?

2010-09-27T21:35:00.004+08:00

and so we find ourselves back to the beginning.

back to the time of you and I, where the word 'us' never existed.

right where we started, where our existence was merely a fish in an ocean.

where nothing ever happened, where we never knew what we could have been.

what we should have been.

it's only been awhile, and yet it feels like forever.

don't you see? don't you see what you are doing to me?

the connection is lost. gone. it has disappeared, and I suspect it left with you.

and yet the sun shines bright still, as if testimony of brighter, better days ahead.

why?

yes. I do know that you and I are possibly the worst, most catastrophic pairing ever made.

we'd wreck mountains, erupt volcanoes, shake the very core of the earth.

we'd shatter barriers, destroy all the walls, thunder in the valleys.

we'd break earthquakes, move icebergs, slice storms.

we'd be a monstrosity. we'd never make it.

but we'd be together.

and even if we'd never work out, at least I'd remember what we had.

at least I'd remember that we tried.

I make this appeal to you; I make this request of you.

you may chance upon this, you may never know this ever existed.

but I write this with the hope that you will one day realise that you

are the inspiration behind this.

because, I don't think I will ever forget what we had.

when time rewinds, what is there to slow down?

as long as there's Christmas

2010-09-19T00:28:00.002+08:00

From Beauty and the Beast: The Enchanted Christmas

(the last 40 seconds is the best :D So sweet and symbolic :D )

tale as old as time, song as old as rhyme

2010-09-18T22:17:00.006+08:00

Just watched Beauty and the Beast with Audrey.

I asked her during lunch if she ever watched Disney movies, and to my surprise (and utter horror), she said no. So, being the nicest big sister I am, I took the Beauty and the Beast VCD that was stashed in my drawer (I wanted to watch it sometime) and played Disc 1 on my Tablet and we sat there and watched part 1.

AND SHE LOVED IT.

No shocker there, but honestly how can someone grow up without watching these majorly awesome movies?

So we watched Part 2 after dinner. And I have to say, I LOVED EVERY SINGLE SECOND OF THE MOVIE.

I haven't watched it in eons, and even after all this time, I still have no doubt that it is THE BEST animated film of ALL TIME.

The story is simply amazing, the animation is just breathtaking and the music is just spectacular. WHY DIDN'T IT WIN THE 1991 OSCAR FOR BEST PICTURE? >:( It totally deserved to win.

You have got to love the ballroom scene, where the animation is just stunning. The traditionally animated characters of Belle and the Beast are combined with the computer-generated ballroom to give an insanely amazing scene. In my opinion, it's one of the nicest scenes in the entire movie.

(Fine, so that could be also because the "Beauty and the Beast" song plays in that scene... But I love the animation too okay!)

Just so you know, Beauty and the Beast is ranked #34 on the American Film Institute's 100 years... 100 passions list. It's a list that ranks the top 100 love stories in American Cinema. Not bad for an animated film :D

Who am I kidding, it's fucking awesome.

IT'S THE BEST BEST BEST LOVE STORY EVER

MY FAVOURITE MOVIE RIGHT NOW IS PROBABLY BEAUTY AND THE BEAST :) IT WAS SO DAMN GOOD TO WATCH IT AGAIN :)

After O's, I shall watch all of the Disney Renaissance films, starting from the first film of that period: The Little Mermaid. OH GOSH I CAN'T WAIT.

Disney seriously needs to show these movies on their channel. I'm sure people will love them.

Hmmm, if and when I have kids, they shall watch Disney Renaissance films for childhood memories.

BEAUTY AND THE BEAST FTW

Tale as old as time

True as it can be

Barely even friends

Then somebody bends

Unexpectedly

Just a little change
Small to say the least

Both a little scared

Neither one prepared

Beauty and the Beast

Ever just the same

Ever a surprise

Ever as before

Ever just a sure

As the sun will rise

Tale as old as time

Tune as old as song

Bittersweet and strange

Finding you can change

Learning you were wrong

Certain as the sun

Rising in the East

Tale as old as time
Song as old as rhyme
Beauty and the Beast.

IN MY OPINION, THIS IS DISNEY AT ITS BEST.

SHHH I AM GOING TO TALK ABOUT MY SECRET CRUSH

2010-09-10T21:44:00.001+08:00

Lucas Till looked so damn cute in House ;)

2010-09-09T18:29:00.002+08:00

ihavethebestboyfriendever :)

2010-09-08T11:34:00.002+08:00

Someone please tell my mom to shut up about me dropping Amath and not taking HMT. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE, she keeps going on and on and on and on abt how much more time I have and her higher expectations of me argh i swear i am going to go mad

2010-09-08T00:19:00.003+08:00

F off man.

I don't get why you keep talking about my PSLE score. Like wth, it was 4 freaking years ago, and it gets damn annoying when you keep mentioning it lah.

Never mind you keep talking abt my PSLE. What I absolutely hate is that you called my PSLE score "mediocre" just now. HELLO I THINK I DID ABSOLUTELY BRILLIANT AND I AM PROUD OF MY SCORE EVEN THOUGH I MAY NOT LIKE IT AS MUCH AS I WANT TO. BUT I AM FREAKING PROUD OF MY SCORE.

You say O's is a chance to "prove myself". Heck, I think I "prove(d) myself" just fine during PSLE.

WHO ARE YOU TO PUT ME DOWN HUH >:(

PFFTH and I hate it when people try to control the way I study, or butt their noses into my methods of studying. Like wth, I have my own way of studying, you have your way, so stop trying to change my studying methods because you don't like them. And stop telling me what to do okay I get damn irritated when you do that. It might have worked for QY, but it won't work for me. The less you butt in, maybe the more I'll open up to you. Stupid.

Of course lah, you annoy me more, the less I'll talk to you right? Common sense what. Always say we very 讨厌, then you leh?

I work better when people stop pushing me so hard. In case you didn't know. Me and stress just don't mix. So stop trying to put your points across in this manner because they're not going to get through to me.

AND STOP TALKING ABOUT MY PSLE SCORE. WANT TO TALK ABT THAT AT LEAST DON'T SAY UNTIL LIKE I FAILED MY PSLE LAH WA LAO, WANT TO SAY I COULD HAVE DONE BETTER ALSO CANNOT PUT IT LIKE THIS RIGHT? YOU MAKE IT SEEM LIKE I FUCKING FAILED OKAY I DON'T THINK I DID SUCH A BAD JOB IN MY PSLE. 245 IS NOT A FANTASTIC SCORE COMPARED TO QY'S 26 PLUS, BUT TO ME IT'S THE BEST SCORE EVER BECAUSE I KNOW I DID MY BEST. PISS OFF.

DO YOU NEED A BOOK ON HOW TO COMMUNICATE EFFECTIVELY WITHOUT PISSING SOMEONE OFF?

F YOU MAKE ME SO DAMN PISSED OFF ARGH I JUST MIGHT GO OFF TO GRANNY'S HOUSE DURING O LEVELS EVEN THOUGH SHE LIVES IN THE EAST BECAUSE I ALREADY CAN IMAGINE HOW IT'LL BE LIKE DURING THE O'S PERIOD >:(

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH YOU MAKE ME SO MAD

smile like you've never done before

2010-09-06T19:54:00.002+08:00

I was just reading my old facebook notes, and this one got me smiling:

Last person you told a secret to?
I don't recall myself having a secret, because my love for gary oak and pokemon is quite obvious and is thus not a secret.

Gary Oak FTW

We're all out of time

2010-09-06T19:39:00.002+08:00

My heart is running on empty.

Broadway lights; are flashing in your eyes

2010-09-06T19:33:00.004+08:00

"Before you just disappear from my life again, can I have the chance to change your mind?"

- Leo/Dylan

(excerpt from script of Meetings of the Mind from Secrets of My Hollywood Life: Broadway Lights, Jen Calonita)

You, Me

2010-09-05T22:42:00.001+08:00

Like fire and rain, you can drive me insane.

Introducing Me :)

2010-09-05T22:31:00.002+08:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lqAQfKIJ0Tg

No shit, this is like the best song in the entire movie.

My sister and I absolutely agree that this is about the most romantic thing that a guy can ever do for a girl.

....

Well, maybe not the most romantic thing, but it's somewhere up there on the top of the list.

This is like the perfect self-introduction song :D

Sheesh. If I ever get a boyfriend, I'd love it if he does something like this... :)

AHHHH I CAN'T GET OVER HOW NICE THIS SONG IS.

So romantic :D

2010-08-24T23:56:00.002+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DADDY :)

Anyway, A1 for Chinese :D

Argh, my back hurts like shit now because of Pilates during P.E :(

2010-08-09T14:31:00.000+08:00

A lie is just a great story that someone ruined with the truth.

BARNEY STINSON.

2010-08-08T23:07:00.004+08:00

You need to learn to let go, you need to learn to believe in someone else. You need to learn how to take a leap of faith, and how to breathe deep.

-----------------------------------------------------

I hate you for making me feel this way, yet I know I can't hate you completely because without you, I wouldn't be able to feel hate.

-----------------------------------------------

You are the best thing that's (n)ever been mine.

-----------------------------------------------

2010-08-02T23:22:00.002+08:00

Rukshana: What are rational numbers?

Siok Ling: How much is a vegetable?

Rukshana (clears throat) (louder this time): What are rational numbers?

Siok Ling: What are vegetables? Green...

Me: HAHAHAHAHA

UMBRELLAAAAAA

2010-08-01T22:52:00.000+08:00

UMBRELLA CD VERSION: THE A CAPELLA ONE FROM THE DUKE'S MEN OF YALE :)

FUN FACT

2010-08-01T22:42:00.002+08:00

FACT OF THE DAY (MAYBE CENTURY):

Tsui is pronounced "Shoe-y" (L)

SHEESH THE GUY IS SO DAMN CUTE.

I HAVE THIS FETISH FOR GUYS WHO ARE CUTE AND CAN SING :)

(And he's smart too, added bonus hahaha)

Tonight

2010-08-01T16:02:00.002+08:00

"Just for a minute!"

"A minute is not enough!"

"Just... for now."

"... I cannot."

"Forever."

"Ssh!"

"That's it, I'm coming up."

bye bye yale

2010-07-31T20:32:00.003+08:00

It freaking costs US$52,000 plus for a year in Yale.

Compared to the S$30,000 plus in NUS...

Argh. I can forget about going overseas to study already -.-

The Duke's Men of Yale - Through The Fire

2010-07-31T18:26:00.001+08:00

Sam Tsui - The Phone Call

2010-07-31T18:01:00.006+08:00

The Phone Call - Ewalt and Walker from Bromance: The Dudesical, sung by Sam Tsui :)

The song itself is very well-written, very nice beat to it. And Sam is very funny (not to mention cute) :D WHY IS HE 21 YEARS OLD ALREADY? :( But never mind, who said age was an issue. (-cough -5 year olds lusting over Justin Bieber - cough -) I can obsess over him all I want :D

Argh, I wish I lived in America :/ This sucks (not the song, I mean the fact that I don't live there sucks).

ANYWAY LOOK! SAM TSUI! WOO~

Edit: THIS IS DAMN NICE DAMN NICE DAMN NICE

The Duke's Men of Yale - Ain't No Sunshine

2010-07-31T18:01:00.001+08:00

The Duke's Men of Yale - Party in the USA

2010-07-31T18:00:00.001+08:00

The Duke's Men of Yale - I Want You Back

2010-07-31T17:56:00.000+08:00

The Duke's Men of Yale - What's Your Name

2010-07-31T17:55:00.002+08:00

What's your name? Is it Mary, Sue or Mark?

- awkward silence -

HAHAHA :D

The Duke's Men of Yale - Rocksteady

2010-07-31T17:52:00.001+08:00

:D Sam ftw

I am putting up all the videos here so my google chrome will not be full of youtube videos and I can just watch them all from my blog, fyi.

:D

2010-07-31T15:40:00.005+08:00

I am randomly putting up nice videos now hahahahaha

Yes, this is a male A Capella group singing Rihanna's Umbrella.

Sam Tsui is at the 1 min 47 second mark :D

Edit: I keep re-watching Sam's part :DDDDDDD I GET HIGH LISTENING TO THIS VERSION OF UMBRELLA WOOOOO~ theres this mp3 version of this on youtube, like cd version they recorded... it's nice, but this one has visual aid :) YAY YAY YAY

:)

2010-07-31T15:20:00.001+08:00

Height difference O_O

AWESOME, as usual :)

LADY GAGA MEDLEY - SAM TSUI & KURT SCHNEIDER

2010-07-29T14:42:00.001+08:00

:D I LOVE THIS

Summer Pop Medley - Sam Tsui and Kurt Schneider

2010-07-29T14:12:00.004+08:00

My recovery song :)

I love all the parts where he sings Ke$ha :D especially 2:37 - 2:45 :DDDDDD

Or maybe I just love Sam Tsui and Kurt Schneider in general? HAHA :D

OMG - Usher

Airplanes - B.O.B ft Hayley Williams

Your Love is My Drug - Ke$ha

California Gurls - Katy Perry

Alejandro - Lady Gaga

2010-07-25T22:50:00.002+08:00

As they passed a group of young guys, who started checking out Blue with an appreciative air but averted their eyes as soon as they got hold of Green – coming to the silent conclusion she was already taken – he had to suppress the urge to grin. And he knew he never should have begun on the bet earlier that day, seemingly already ages ago. Gambling with Blue was a dangerous thing.

Before you knew it you had fallen in love.

- Gambling, (Pokemon Fanfiction) by Snoaz

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5282787/1/Gambling

I do not take credit for this.

BUT ISN'T IT THE SWEETEST THING?? :D

Permanent December - Miley Cyrus

2010-07-25T16:11:00.002+08:00

The lyrics are really wonderful. I mean I'm not a Miley Cyrus fan outright, but I'm not a Miley Cyrus hater either. It's her life, if she wants to wear all those revealing clothes and sing in bird cages, by all means, she has the right to do so. Anyway, the girl can sing much better than some other Disney wannabes. Let's give her credit where credit is due.

it's been like a permanent December~

For Good - Cover

2010-07-17T19:59:00.000+08:00

THIS IS WOW

Miley Cyrus Medley PIANO

2010-07-17T17:03:00.001+08:00

Sam can sing, but let's not forget his producer/friend/songwriter dude :D Kurt Schneider :D

it'salovestory

超级偶像

imperfection

拥抱那么多起起落落

别告诉他， 我还想他

both a little scared, neither one prepared

but if you walk the footsteps of a stranger

Got No Clue What I Should Do

I Just Haven't Met You Yet

when you turn the corner,

If Cupid had a Heart

and it's like the fog has lifted

FLYNN RIDER/EUGENE FITZHERBERT = BEST MALE DISNEY PROTAGONIST EVER

TANGLED

FOR NARNIA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"Right now, out there, someone you haven't met is wondering what it would be like to meet someone like you"

Firework, Grenade, Dynamite Medley - Sam Tsui & Kurt Schneider

it was only just a dream

I was thinking 'bout you, thinking 'bout me

don't jump.

I'm like, forget you.

away

PLUSHIES

if we were a movie

major spam ahead

hey, you don't know me but...

3 MORE DAYS

Remixed and Redefined

SHHH I AM GOING TO TALK ABOUT MY OTHER SECRET CRUSH

Disney Movies are awesome

Mulan - I'll Make a man out of you

idiot ex-boyfriends

Supposedly

I Know

To Whom It May Concern

O LEVELSSSSSSS

we're face to face, but

DRAGONSEEDMUFFIN

don't say yes, run away now

轻轻触摸未来遥远的风

all the way up

when this is all I have left, do I cling onto it?

as long as there's Christmas

tale as old as time, song as old as rhyme

SHHH I AM GOING TO TALK ABOUT MY SECRET CRUSH

smile like you've never done before

We're all out of time

Broadway lights; are flashing in your eyes

You, Me

Introducing Me :)

UMBRELLAAAAAA

FUN FACT

Tonight

bye bye yale

The Duke's Men of Yale - Through The Fire

Sam Tsui - The Phone Call

The Duke's Men of Yale - Ain't No Sunshine

The Duke's Men of Yale - Party in the USA

The Duke's Men of Yale - I Want You Back

The Duke's Men of Yale - What's Your Name

The Duke's Men of Yale - Rocksteady

:D

:)

LADY GAGA MEDLEY - SAM TSUI & KURT SCHNEIDER

Summer Pop Medley - Sam Tsui and Kurt Schneider

Permanent December - Miley Cyrus

For Good - Cover

Miley Cyrus Medley PIANO

别告诉他，我还想他